Psyllium Husks=Bark Dust

Here I am with my thick glass of “Long Life Cocktail”- 2 full tablespoons of psyllium husk in 8 oz of cran water. How do people drink this stuff? The label on the container actually warns you about chocking. No joke. Imagine scooping up a fist full of bark dust from the playground and throwing it in a cup of water. Mmmmmm, yum! Thats what I’m drinking.

Day 1 of the Fat Flush Plan almost over. God help me the next 13.

Speaking of psyllium husk, I had a 45 minute conversation today with my Man in Moseley today about poop and farts. Yes, we really must be in love.

Anyways, today was kind of a big day for me.

Not only did I clean house, but I threw out all my old prescriptions today, practically a suitcase full of them.

I’ve wanted this day to come for awhile but for one reason or another, avoided it. Today was the day though- If I was fully committed to turning over a new leaf in life, and serious about this detox shit, I had to release this part of my past.

Most of the prescriptions were expired (long expired, like from ‘03!) but I was holding on to them like a security blanket, or twisted badge of honor. Into the garbage with the dirty diapers and cigarette butts went:

trazadone

hydrocondone

adderall rx

lexapro

topamax

lorazapam

provigil

and

wellbutrin

WOW. Was I ever I nut case, or a perfect example of the over-prescribing going on today in the medical profession.

It felt really good to let go of all that pharmaceutical baggage. And as each one of those little orange bottles was tossed, the memories associated with each of their reason for being in my hand arced across the sky, and I was reminded of just how much I have changed in the past two and half years since finding out I was pregnant.

Motherhood really has saved me from myself. Single Motherhood intensified the saving.

This is the point where this post can become very long, and very personal (and you thought sharing my medicine cabinet with you was personal!) I’m going to hold off. After all, the title of this post is Psyllium Husks=Bark Dust not Psyllium Husks=Dark Soliloquy into the Past.

I will leave you with this, though: if my relatively short time in motherhood has taught me anything it’s the importance of really looking at who you are and who you want to be with honesty, courage and love.

Scary though it may be, we are our children’s first role-models, which means its worth it to try to become real ones of our own. In my opinion, its not about being perfect and really not about projecting a perfect facade. It’s not even about learning how to stomach psyllium husk (though, I am very proud of myself for finishing that glass just now). It is about loving and honoring life enough to dig down deep and make the most of our time here. Which means, knowing when to clear the past out and make room for happier memories.