The Guy Who Stole My Wallet

This is the man who stole my wallet.

A few days ago I twittered manically about losing my little silver case that contained all the significant pieces of plastic in my life: My Visa, My American Express, My Oregon Drivers License and My Starbucks Card. 

After ransacking my room, my car, and every single purse, diaper bag, and gym bag I own, I finally gave up and called the credit cards companies to freeze my accounts. I had a sneaky suspician someone very close to me knew where mommy’s life was hiding, but I couldn’t get him to talk.  He played very cute and dumb, and I almost believed he was innocent of having anything to do with that silver case’s where-abouts. 

Dreading the halla-balloo I was about to deal with to cancel and replace all my cards and personal identification, I got online anyways and wrote down all the numbers I would need to call.

A few hours later all accounts were safely frozen. The missing cards where cancelled and replacements were on there way. I sighed a deep sigh of regret, though, to have lost the Starbucks card I had just registered and replenished with $30 of credit. And no license? That meant my ability to imbibe at the one happy hour on my calendar this month was seriously put at risk. Not funny. The pack of cigarettes I smoked last week though, probably worked in my favor at least on this one account: I was significantly more wrinkled. I could feel it. Oh well, at least maybe I wouldn’t be carded? Good god, this is not something that makes me that happy.

Needless to say,  I was so annoyed and stressed– I did not have time to deal with this! Mothers and especially Single Mothers should be except by the gods to ever have to deal with a lost or stolen purse or wallet.  Don’t we have enough stress?

Anyway, I dealt with my loss with as much grace as one can muster. By day 3, I had accepted the reality of the situation and let it go.  I was preparing to go to the DMV the next morning.

Then, out of nowhere, Lucca appears with my little silver case.  I was exstatic! Oh well that I had just cancelled all my cards, at least I was saved a painful trip to the DMV!  But wait….where is my license?  Lucca, WHERE IS MOMMY’S PICTURE?

I tried to “trick” Lucca into showing me where he found the silver case and where perhaps my I.D. was still hiding, but no luck. He played even cuter and even dumber. I don’t know what was worse, imagining my identity stolen, or knowing it was RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE but I just was not clever enough to figure out where my own toddler would hide it.

I drove myself insane for 5 hours Sunday tearing up my room in search of it.  Enough is enough. My son probably ate it. I would suffer the DMV and get a new license.

Stay tuned for the next post where I tell you about what a great time that was…