I’m seriously considering transforming Lucca’s crib– which he doesn’t use– into a functional cage–which momma will make him use.
Since around 14 months Lucca has been sharing the bed with me. Little man hercules was climbing out of his crib and staring up at me, togging at my down comforter crying “up! up!” We share a room and so I had two choices: 1).Listen to him beg and scream or 2). Cuddle with him.
Cuddling with him seemed like the obvious choice.
Wrong.
6 months of cuddling all night with a toddler can really get you in a pickle:
I have now trained my son to need his momma’s warmth to fall asleep.
I breast-fed for Lucca’s first 10 months and breaking free of that attachment and night-time ritual was no easy feat. But I did it and for four months we both slept peacefully apart. Then he got more mobile and more adventuresome, and I, having broken up with the boyfriend, got needy for some cuddle-time.
Hindsight is always twenty-twenty. I should have remained strong and insisted he keep to his crib or else sleep on the floor. But I’ve never been a good discliplinarian, so here we are and I am loosing my mind. Little man has got to give me some space!
Anyone have any suggestions for how to most humanely turn a crib into a child-proof cage?
Nope… I’m not joking.
Filed under: parenting, single-motherhood, support | Tagged: parenting advice, single parenthood, sleep problems, toddler sleep issues
See — monkeyboy IS Lucas’ long lost brother because I went through the same thing. Before he could walk on his own he could get out of his crib and there’s nothing more comforting to him to this day than this warm mommy in her soft mommy bed.
I confess I did make a cage – I mean TENT (yeah, tent) – for monkeyboy. Since he already had a jungle theme room, the crib tent kind of fit in — and he loved to play in tents when go-gorillaboy (aka pyrosmileyboy) had swim meets, or we were at the beach. Search “crib tent” or look here to see what I used: http://www.amazon.com/Tots-Mind-Cozy-Crib-White/dp/B00014PLAY.
For the warmth issue, you can always take a damp tea towel, nuke it in the microwave for a couple of seconds, then pop into a ziplock bag. It makes a low-heat, limited-duration, ubersafe substitute mommy heat source when put underneath the crib sheet (see – long lost brothers).
I’d watch out for the sleeping on the floor alternative. I have darling married friends who did so with their son monkeyboy’s age…and at 8 he’s STILL in their room and unable to sleep alone. Ya know, just in case you ever want your sleeping quarters to yourself!
I’ve got no help on the cage thing, but the book that helped me is “No Cry Sleep Solution”. I nursed K until she was 3 and co-slept until she was 4 and then she even had a recent bout for the last 4 months. Happily (for me) she is sleeping in her own bed (own room) again. I consider this progress, but it will slide back again I’m sure. We did do a “reward” for X number of nights in your own bed, but Lucca is probably still into instant gratification! (who isn’t right?)
PS – don’t believe people who say you are ruining him by letting him sleep with you. If you like it, great. If you are ready for room, great. But both are OK. And he will not be socially retarded if he jsut wants mama next to him! This too shall pass.
My kids have always sleep in other rooms, so I can’t offer a solution for the in room cage (if he sees you…he will want you is my opinion). Since I have been a single papa I have had a rule that states: You must begin your sleep in your own bed and if you happen to wake up in the middle of the night due to a nightmare or other frightening event at that time you may come into my bed. – Maybe when he gets older you can try that.
I also dated a women whose story was almost exactly like yours (man left her to raise there son). She allowed her son to sleep with her and it really made it hard for her to leave him with others for the night and made relationships hard as he had the bed and we shared the couch. I tried to convince her to move him to another room with no luck (I even bought her this really cool remote video monitoring solution). I chalked it up to a first time mommy who was also single…however I am no expert.
Good luck with the crib fortress…make it themed or something he really likes…or fight it out for a few hard nights of crying. You can do it!! If you can get up and jump on that trampoline you can do anything!!
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