Orgasmic Self-Talk

okay. confession time….I talk to myself in the mirror.

Tonight I said to the tired eyed and mascara smeared reflection, “You are beautiful.”
To the toothpaste drooling, holy-shit-i-spotted-a-gray-hair!- stranger in the mirror, “I love you.”
To the dimply thighed, love-handled, fuller-than-ever-before figured momma I said, “Damn. Your sexy!”

And I wanted to believe it.

The first run through of those lines, though, I could not even come close to delivering them to myself with same punch as when a man does.

So I faced the mirror, and delivered them again:

I said to the tired eyed and mascara smeared reflection, “You are beautiful.”
To the toothpaste drooling, holy-shit-i-spotted-a-gray-hair!- stranger in the mirror, “I love you.”
To the dimply thighed, love-handled, fuller-than-ever-before figured momma I said, “Damn. Your sexy!”

Second run thru I just laughed….made it to “Damn!” but couldn’t say “Your sexy!”

So I took a deep breath and delivered them...again.

I said to the tired eyed and mascara smeared reflection, “You are beautiful.”
To the toothpaste drooling, holy-shit-i-spotted-a-gray-hair!- stranger in the mirror, “I love you.”
To the dimply thighed, love-handled, fuller-than-ever-before figured momma I said, “Damn. Your sexy!”

Third time I kept a straight face, but wanted to cry:

I didn’t feel beautiful. I didn’t feel sexy. I didn’t know how to love the woman in the mirror who would never again have her 18 year old ass back. Petty things! Ass, breasts, thighs, abs….simply body parts, right? Why do they have so much pull in a woman’s self-esteem?

Say the lines again:
“You are beautiful.”
“I love you.”
“Damn! You are sexy.”

anything?

Say them again, slower:
“You…. are…. beautiful.”
“I…..LOVE….. you.”
“Damn! ……………..You………. are sexy!”

feeling better, strangely

Say them again, with emphasis:
“YOU!!!!…. are…. beautiful.”
“I…..LOVE….. you.”
“Damn!!!!!!! @%*^!!!!!!..……………You………. are sexxxy!”

okay, I’m starting to glow…almost like something delicious is building here

“You are beautiful.”
“I love you.”
“Damn! You are sexy.

keep going, I’m almost there!

“You are beautiful.“
“I love you.”
“Damn! You are sexy.
“You are beautiful.”
“I love you.”
“Damn! You are sexy.
“You are beautiful.”
“I love you.”
“Damn! You are sexy.
“You are beautiful.”
“I love you.”
“Damn! You are sexy.”You are beautiful.”
“I love you.”
“Damn!!!! You are sexy!!!!!!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….. and I’m spent!