There is such thing as social media addiction. Perhaps even a social media ‘problem.’
I am a self-confessed ’social media romantic’ and I suffer the highs and lows of a stereotypical- albeit unhealthy- romance.
There are days when I am thrilled to be in this SM world, when genuine friendships explode from the dark and the greatness of humanity beams hope down on the twitter stream like a light house over a cape.
Then there are days when all I sense is an emptiness and scrounging hunger for approval– within myself, not just in others.
If you’ve never felt the rush or the angst of twitter, the combination of exhilaration and overwhelm of Facebook, or the sinusoidal waves of satisfaction and disappointment in social media in general, this post is not for you.
But if you are like me, and are by nature, an ‘over-sharer’ (thanks @Missive) , and you’ve fallen in love with social media, perhaps even admitted you are addicted to it, you might be prone to suffer a degree of ‘privacy deprivation syndrome’ too.
I say this a bit tongue in cheek, because I don’t actually know if there is such a thing as privacy deprivation syndrome as it relates to social media, but if I can trust my inner read on things, I think might be something to it.
Technically, privacy deprivation syndrome is a term psychologist use to diagnoses people who don’t spend regular time alone to rest and recoup. It’s symptoms include increasing resentment, mood swings, chronic fatigue and depression.
I stumbled on this information accidentally.
Last week, I myself was feeling the low- disillusionment and disappointment with my online life. The mood swings were there and so was the anxiety and moments of saddness. I began to feel a sense of resentment for things that normally brought be joy- blogging for example.
Instinctively I knew I needed to take a break…a break from my online life. It was Wednesday, it was only one day, but it felt incredible to unplug midweek and not send or receive one tweet or facebook status update. I didn’t even check my email or look at my blog to see if there were any comments. I took a real break.
And I read one of my favorite things to read when I need inspiration or perspective, Simple Abundance.
The author, Sarah Ban Breathnach, sites this psychological term to point out a woman’s tendency to overbook herself and sign on for too much, only to experience unfulfilled exasperation. [Mother take note: "The never refreshed are really not that much fun to be around."]
She speaks about our need for solitude, a ‘psychic time out,’ the importance of spending a regular time alone. I read this and my initial thought was: Well, I spend lots of time alone! I work from home, my son is at daycare, my husband is at his office, I have the whole house to myself. But a deeper truth smacked me in the face.
Sure, you have the whole how to yourself, but how about those thoughts? How many of them become tweets or blogs posts? How much of your life to do you share with the world before you’ve truly enjoyed it just for yourself?
Very sobering.
Social media addicts and enthusiasts are prone to suffer privacy deprivation syndrome because they (I mean, we- I broadcasted my wedding, for crying out load) don’t have the same filter as everyone else. Whether we truly just don’t know when to shut-up, or because we believe there might be someone who is lifted just a little bit higher by our willingness to be naked, emotionally speaking, or, darkly, because we’ve grown to depend on others’ comments and mentions to feel love and approval, we over-share a lot.
Maybe we don’t over-share about the intimate things like sex and bathroom breaks (we have higher social intelligence than that), but we do over-share about the daily goings-on in our life that most likely mean nothing to anyone else.
We tweet about going to Ikea, getting a coffee, reading at the library, playing at the park with our children. We update our Facebook status at quarter past midnight to let everyone know we have insomnia and to call out for attention to our friends in early time-zones. Half way through a yoga session we are a given an insight of personal significance and feel our journey as human being get a little more rewarding, and we can’t wait to rush home to blog about it. We jump from our down-ward to open our laptop.
When I was reading about the casualties of privacy deprivation syndrome – depression, chronic fatigue, emotional depletion- I realized I was due to experience all of this thanks to my social media addiction and this new tendency to think of thoughts as broadcast messages for others to respond to or take action on, rather than as intimate belongings of self-reward.
Being uncomfortably honest with myself I knew I was starting to place my inner value on how many comments were left on my blog and how many twitter friends reached out an @ message to me that day. I was starting to judge my own self worth not by the love of my family or god, but by the measure of others.
Personal value can never come from the outside. If it starts to, that’s the time to cut and run…or at least take a break to get a grip.
I needed a ’social media time out’. And so last Wednesday I took one. Instead of tweeting or typing at a keyboard, I opened my red leather-bound book and wrote with ink. I wrote and told no one. I enjoyed the intimacy of alone. I realize the irony of sharing with you now what I wrote in private, but I may forever be cursed an over-sharer and I am okay with that as long I know how to ‘get a grip’ when I need to. I hope in this sharing you see less privacy deprivation syndrome and more of it’s cure- or it’s least momentary treatment.
The bath water is running. It is just 11 am. The house is dark with mist outside and I am alone, a perfect solitude. I am going to soak in a bath full of bubbles and shave my legs. A mid-week luxury. Turning on Astrud Gilbreto now. Turning off Tweetdeck. Closing down all my browsers. I’m writing just with pen today, for myself. Today my thoughts and actions are for only me. I remember Sarah Ban Breathnach’s words, “Solitude cracks open the door that separates two worlds: the life we lead today and thew life we yearn for so deeply.
What do you think? Do you think there is such thing as ‘privacy deprivation syndrome’ associated with social media? Do you occassionaly suffer too? If you don’t, tell me your secrets.
, inspiring us to a “yes” answer.
